Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
