This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
