well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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