I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
