There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize