So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
