How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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