So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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