me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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