No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They are going to name an STD after you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize