WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
A+ Viking dick
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
