Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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