how can u be prego again
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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