Me too!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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