I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
