it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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