Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize