i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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