As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
