VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
