i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
