dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
