It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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