"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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