R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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