9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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