tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
