i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
