evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
