Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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