I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
