My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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