Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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