paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We have started to decorate penises.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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