So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
