On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
