No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
