So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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