Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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