my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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