im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
