so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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