I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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