Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
