I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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