you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
