oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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