I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
