I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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