just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
