i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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