dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
