I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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