I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize