I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
