i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize