we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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