All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
