I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
