if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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