ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize