it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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