I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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