For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
