I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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