You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
